Long Way Down
by couragetcd
Summary: Puck and Rachel console each other after Beth's birth.  Is there such a thing as fluffy angst?  One shot song fic.  Rated T for Puck's love of four letter words.


Ok, first things first, I don't own Glee or anything else mentioned in this story.

I'm sorry for anyone who got an alert and thought it was chapter three of Aftermath. I do have it pretty much completed and uploaded to FF, but I still need to do a final edit/proofread before I post it. Since I don't have a beta, and all mistake are mine. :-)

This song is dedicated to XM Lithium, for playing Long Way Down and reminding me just how much I adore the Goo Goo Dolls. (No, I don't own them either, please see above disclaimer, geeze.)

Anywho, this is my story about Puck and Rachel consoling each other after Beth's adoption. Is there such a thing as fluffy angst?

Song Key _Italics=Rachel_; **Bold=Puck**; _**Bold Italics=Both**_

Puck grumbled as he heard his door bell ring for like, the nine hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes. "All right already ass holes, I'm coming." He carefully sat his half emtpy bottle of Jack next to the the fully empty bottle of Jose. "Ok, now you guys place nice and Imma gonna yell at people to go away cuz I'm still thirsty n stuff."

He grumpily stumbled down the stairs. Why did he have to be alone so no one else could open the door already? But then he wouldn't be drunk, so having to get the door was ok, he guessed.

Puck angrily pulled the door open, already yelling. "Dammit, don't ya think I woulda answered the door already if I wanted to?"

Blinking up at him stood Rachel Berry. Fuck his life anyway.

"Hello, Noah, I see you are inebriated, and that unfortuately you are not an, as they say it, 'happy drunk.' I never did understand that, don't most people just get unruly and-"

"What the fuck d'you want, Berry?" Puck managed to interrupt her, but was unable to keep her outside his house as she nimbly darted around him to stand in the darkened hall, nervously playing with the bottom of her pink cardigan.

"Well, as to that...everyone else in Glee is comforting Quinn back at her mother's home, and Mr. Shue has taken Finn under his wing...Mr. Shue took him to Breadstix after Finn started crying about how he thought Drzzle was his and it felt like he had given up his little gi-"

"Fuck that shit! Finnessa doesn't know jack about bein' a father and Quinn wouldn't need comforting if she had just not giv-"

Rachel managed to interrupt him and drown out the rest of his rant. "Quite right Noah, I couldn't agree with you more. I saw how you looked at Beth when you held her, and I saw your face when the nurse took her away...for good...and since everyone else is busy, I decided to take it upon myself to visit you see if there is any way I could help ease your pain."

Puck flashed her his famous smirk, but it lacked impact as his eyes couldn't focus on her. "Hell ya, babe, come on up to my room, and you can help me feel real good."

Rachel rolled her eyes but turned around to go up to his room. At least she could sit down and Puck should feel more comfortable in his room rather than the chilly hallway.

"I take it from your inebriated state and the fact that it took 35 bell rings for you to answer the door that you are alone today?"

"Damn straight. Ma took the brat to Cinci to see some stars on ice crap for her birthday. They won't be back til tomorrow night."

"Noah, I wish you wouldn't call your sister a brat. Leah is a very bright and charming young lady-"

"Yeah, right sure." Puck was getting good at interrupting Rachel's mini rants (Seriously, can't she just, like, talk like everyone else does? Why is every damn thing a speech?) "A little tip, Berry? Nagging me about what I do and the words I say isn't the best way to make me feel better, ya know?"

"Oh! I do apologize Noah, of course you are correct." Rachel looked around the boy's room and was vaguely surprised that it wasn't dirtier before finally sitting on the edge of his bed, since she didn't know if the clothes piled on his desk chair were clean or dirty.

Puck smirked again and sat down next to her. "So about making me feel better..." He leaned in and started nuzzling her neck.

"Noah! That is not what I meant at all and well you know it! I thought you might need someone to listen to you as you unburdened yourself from the pain and heartache caused by the loss of your daughter. I know you will scoff at this, but I truly am a devoted listener, and if perhaps, as you are sharing your thoughts and feelings you feel the need to emote through tears, you can use my shoulder." She carefully pushed him away from her neck and helped him sit mostly upright, glad that he was too drunk to tell just how affected she was by his warm breath on her neck.

Puck blinked and tried to decode what the Berry speak meant in real people talk. The last few drinks of Jack before answering the door probably didn't help..."Hold up, Berry. Did you just say I can cry on your shoulder if I wanna? Pft. Not happening in any life time, crazy chick."

Rachel smiled placidly up at him. "Of course, I expected you to say something along those lines. But still, keep that thought in the back of your head, just in case-"

"Yeah, whatever. Imma badass an' you know it Berry. Only reason I haven't kicked you out of my house is so I can laugh at you...and because it ticks me off how everyone feels bad for Quinn and even stupid ass Finn who found out months ago he wasn't the father...and what's up with that, anyway? Why does Shue think he needs to be a father figure to Finn? I don't have a dad either, and you don't see any male authority type guy trying to give me advise and shit."

"Probably because you would push away and possibly even punch any guy that tried to get close to you."

"Well, yeah, ok."

"And, of course, Finn has those adorable puppy dog eyes that make you want to forgive him and make him happy."

"Damn Berry, do not start singing the fuckin' praises of Finn."

"Oh, no, I won't. I think I might actually be over him this time...I hope."

"Wait, what? I thought you two were like, destiny or something."

"Alas, no, I fear I too fell prey to the puppy dog eyes for a time...but, I'm really more of a cat person."

"Huh?"

"But that is not what we should be talking about! Please, Noah, tell me how you felt about Beth.

"I fucking loved her. She was my kid. Like, she is part me and part Quinn, and that shit is scary and cool. And I bet she rules the playground with an iron fist."

"I suppose I can see that, you and Quinn are both talented at tormenting peers you do not highly regard."

"Hey, I already apologized for all that shit."

Rachel stood up and walked around the room. "I know that, Noah, and as I have told you, all is forgiven and there are no hard feelings. That doesn't mean, however, that all is forgotten." Rachel fiddled with Puck's ipod until music came pouring out of the dock. "There, I have always felt that music helps one unburden the soul. Of course, singing helps more than talking and listening to music, but I fear you do not have a song at your disposal that would be suitable for your situation."

Puck blinked at her for a minute before scoffing, "Yeah, I've looked, but there really isn't a song out there that talks about how you fucked your best friend's girlfriend because you thought you loved her since sixth grade, and she got pregnant, and called you a loser and told your best friend that he was the father, and he was a dumbass and believed her even though he was still a virgin. Then your best friend beats you up and she pushes you away and is a total bitch every time you try to help her and the perfect little girl growing inside her and then she bitches you out until you cave in like a pussy and let her give away that perfect little girl, even though you love her so much you could throw up and now you'll probably never get to see her again."

Rachel looked down, shyly looking up at Puck beneath her long dark lashes before once again sitting next to him. "Oh, so you have loved Quinn since sixth grade? Wow, I am sorry she has been so mean to you. Maybe she will still learn to love you back."

Puck just shook his head. "No, you don't get it Berry. I first saw her in sixth grade and she just looked so different than the other girls, I thought she must be the most awesome chick ever. When she started dating Finn last year, I was so jealous of him, even though by then I knew that she could be pretty mean. But she is just a bitch, and she will never be anything else. She can be nice and sweet when she wants something, but once she gets what she wants, it's right back to bitch mode. Even if she did change, I pretty much hate her for giving away Beth like that."

Rachel nodded understandingly. "Well, I suppose it may be for the best if you no longer have feelings for her. Much like Finn and I, it seems that a relationship with Quinn is not meant to be."

Puck shrugged and nodded.

"One thing I don't understand, though, is why did you not insist on an open adoption so that you could still get pictures of Beth, and maybe even see her sometimes?"

"Well, I told Quinn I wanted that. She doesn't ever want to see Beth again, but she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, so I should be able to see her since I do want to. Quinn wouldn't let me help her pick out the parents, but she did pick people that would be cool with sending me pictures and stuff. But when they were called when Quinn was in labor, they backed out. I guess they managed to get pregnant after all, so they weren't interested in raising someone's bastard anymore. After delivery, we were looking at her through the glass, and Quinn asked if I loved her, and I said yes, because I thought maybe she was changing her mind and she would let us keep Beth. But no, bitch pushed through the adoption with the first lady that wanted a baby, and I don't know if Shelby will let me see Beth or not, and she said she was moving because she didn't want to coach Vocal Adrenaline anymore, so I don't know how close they're going to be-" Puck stopped abruptly at the wounded look Rachel had in her eyes.

"Shelby? Shelby Corcoran, my mother? That's who adopted your daughter?"

"Uh, yeah, I thought you knew..." Puck again stopped talking, this time because of the tears overflowing from Rachel's eyes.

"No, I most certainly did not know that I had been replaced! Why, Noah?"

Puck shrugged uncomfortably. Rachel crying was sobering him even faster than thoughts about Beth were. "Um, what do you mean, Rach?"

"Why am I constantly second place to Quinn? Why am I never first? First Finn, then Mr Shuester gave her my solo, then you, and now even my own mother decided that she would rather raise Quinn's daughter as her own and left me with a less than believable 'I'll call you.' Everyone knows that for a brush off when they hear it! I told myself, no, it's not, she will call me, I'm her daughter, after all. But instead my own mother replaced me with a part of Quinn. I know she is prettier than me, and she is more popular and people want to be her friend, but I never thought my own birth mother would choose her over me!"

Puck sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before standing up and holding Rachel's shoulders in his hands. "Okay, first of all, Quinn is not prettier than you. Yeah, she's cute and all, but you are way hotter than she is. You've got, like, legs that go for miles, and they are sexy miles, and all those short skirts you wear make them look even hotter. The only bad part about your skirts is that you ass looks way hotter in the tight jeans you've worn for Glee routines. But your ass is still hot in the skirts, too."

Rachel laughed between sobs. Only Puck would try to make her feel better by talking about her anatomy. It was working a little bit, though. "Oh, Noah, I know that I am pushy and abrasive and I want everything to much and I show too much determination and ambition. But are these really things to be hated for?"

"Well, it's high school, Berry. We don't really like kids that don't fit in. Especially when they are going places and talk all the time about the places they are going and remind the rest of us losers that we aren't going anywhere. And I'm sorry that your mom didn't even try to get to know you. Cuz once you get past the too big fake smile and nonstop talking about yourself, you're a cool girl. Your funny and sweet and you are a good listener."

Rachel shook her head and held his face in her hands while his hands were still on her shoulders. "Now, you listen to me, Noah Puckerman! You are in no way a loser! As one person going places with a bright future, I recognize the same in you."

Puck smiled a little. "Thanks Berry. I don't know if you're right, but it feels good hearing that you don't think I'm a Lima Loser."

Puck sat down next to her again and wrapped an arm around her shoulder while Rachel tried to stop crying and compose herself. "I am so sorry, Noah. Once again I show my selfishness. I am supposed to be helping you in your time of loss."

Puck gave her a little squeeze. "Nah, it's cool. Maybe we can, you know, help each other out.

Rachel looked up from where her head was resting on his chest. "Thank you, Noah, I would like that. Oh! And I have the perfect song for this situation...if you would sing with me?"

"I'm not singing any of that Broadway crap, Berry. You know that."

"Now, Noah, while there are some songs I think you would really appreciate, this is not from Broadway, and I believe that you may even have it on your ipod."

Noah smirked at her. "Okay, go ahead and check, Berry." Anything would be better than watching Berry break down in tears again. After watching her take slushies to the face for years without a single tear, that had really freaked him out.

Rachel promptly walked over to his ipod and started looking through the list. "Yes, here it is! Now, I need you to sing with me, okay, Noah? It's in your song list, so I know that you know the words."

"Sure, Berry, why don't you come back over here and sit with me."

Rachel smiled shyly at him before settling next to him again, surprised yet happy when his arm came back around her.

Puck almost smiled as he recognized the song and started to sing.

_**Oh here you are, there's nothing left to say  
>You're not supposed to be that way<strong>_  
><em><strong>Did they push you out? did they throw you away?<strong>_  
><em>Touch me now and I don't care <em>  
><strong>When you take me I'm not there<strong>  
><em><strong>Almost human, but I'll never be the same<strong>_

**Long way down**, _I don't think I'll make it on my own_  
><strong>Long way down<strong>, _I don't want to live in here alone_  
><strong>Long way down<strong>, _**I don't think I'll make it on my own**_

_I never put you down_, **I never pushed you away **  
><em><strong>You're not supposed to be that way<strong>_  
><em>And anything you want<em>, **there's nothing I could say**

_**Is there anything to feel? **_  
><em>Is it pain that makes you real?<em>  
><strong>Cut me off before it kills me<strong>

_Long way down_, **I don't think I'll make it on my own**  
><em>Long way down<em>, **I don't want to live in here alone **  
><em>Long way down, <em>_**I don't think I'll make it on my own**_

_I never put you down_, **I never pushed you away**  
><strong>Take another piece of me <strong>  
><em>Give my mind a new disease <em>  
><em><strong>And the black and white world never fades to gray<strong>_

**Long way down**, _I don't think I'll make it on my own_  
><strong>Long way down<strong>, _I don't want to live in here alone _  
><strong>Long way down,<strong>_** I don't think I'll make it on my own**_

The next song on the play list started playing, but the room seemed silent without their voices filling the air. Puck moved to sit against his headboard and tugged on Rachel until she joined him and he could once again wrap his arm around her shoulders. He didn't really want to think about how nice it felt to have her head resting on his chest over his heart. It was arousing and comforting at the same time, and the combination was new for him. It might have even been a little scary if he wasn't a badass. It compelled him to break the silence. "It's true, you know."

"What do you mean, Noah?"

"Well, in the song. The line about I've never pushed you away. It's kinda true. I wasn't really going to break up with you. You made me feel better about myself, even though I knew you were still hung up on Finn, you believed in me and it was cool."

Rachel sighed a little and moved her body slightly closer to his. "I wish I hadn't been so enamored with Finn at the time, I did enjoy the time we spent together. But, truly, it was probably for the best. You still loved Quinn, and unbeknownst to me, Beth."

"By that time, I knew I didn't love Quinn. But, yeah, I really did love Beth. I always will."

"I know, Noah."

They listened to a handful of songs, content in each other's company. Their hearts were still sore from the loss of people that should be there now to love them, but, knowing that someone else understood at least a little helped comfort them just as much as being together did.


End file.
